Halo

Remember those walls I built

Well baby they're tumbling down

They didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I found my angel now

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breaking

It's the risk that I'm taking

I'm not ever gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see you halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo, halo, halo

I can see your halo, halo, halo

I can feel your halo, halo, halo

I can see your halo, halo, halo

It hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

So pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breaking

It's the risk that I'm taking

I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo, halo, halo

I can see your halo, halo, halo

I can feel your halo, halo, halo

I can see your halo, halo, halo

I can feel your halo, halo, halo

I can see your halo, halo, halo

Halo, halo.

Disappointed

You know, this may be a completely random blog; but I felt the need to talk about this.

I hate it when people tell me they're disappointed in me. There is no level of guilt that exceeds 'disappointed'. It a horrid curse, that you carry around with you for the rest of your days, until you burn in hell, you fucking sinner! 

Ok, yeah, I kind of got out of control there. :P Um... so... what the fuck am I going on about? I'm gonna go now. Bye.

Dear Megan

Dear Megan, this is a letter to you to remind you of how awesome we are.

Did you know that we've only known each other for like four months?

It feels like fucking forever. I wish we had have met each other earlier, because you are so fucking funny. Honest to God, I rarely meet people who I fall in love with straight away... and you are awesome enough to be one of those people.

You are a minder, a maggot, and a moo-cow. I am a nigga nun. The ratio works out quite nicely, I think. You are the stupid and smelly in the relationship and I'm the sex and the brains. It's perfect!

So... I don't know about you, but I think that we (especially me) are the most awesome team in the world. What would civilization do without us? When we die, I suppose everyone will just commit suicide or something. I mean, what really is the point of living if you and I are dead? There is no reason.

Megan, I love you. You are awesome and far too cool for school.

But please, have a shower.       :D

The Honey Story

I did the stupidest thing EVER two nights ago.

I was lying on my bed, watching a pleasant episode of The O.C. I thought to myself, 'I feel peckish'. So i got up and snuck out of my room to the kitchen. My mum was locking up the house and stuff coz she was getting ready for bed. I got to the cupboard and there was absolutely nothing there that I wanted! Occasionally if I feel really hungry at night I'll eat a few teaspoons of peanut butter. It sounds stupid, but for some reason it stops the oncoming starvation.

So I looked deep within the pantry, searching desperately for something, anything to indulge in. And then I found it. A brand new jar of honey. Now, I don't usually like honey very much but for some reason I felt like it at the time. So I took the jar and got back on my bed in my room until I heard my brother yell from nextdoor. I jumped off my bed and walked into his room. He was standing on his bed and yelling about a spider. I was telling him that he was an idiot (even though secretly I'm terrified of spiders too). My mum came in and was too freaked out to kill the thing aswell. So we chased it into the basket and dumped it in the bathroom and closed the door.

All was well... for now. Lol. I went back to my bedroom and cracked open the new jar of honey, savouring that sweet smell. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. I quickly spun around letting my grip slacken on the honey jar, but not dropping it. I scanned the wall for maybe 20 seconds and then went to resume my viewing of The O.C. But the honey was pouring out of the lopsided jar in my hand out onto my carpeted floor. This was a BIG jar of honey.

I shat myself. I freaked. I went to pick up the jar and spilt it all over myself. Up my arms and everything. Then I found the courage to look over the top of my bed to see the damage. Luckily most of it spilled onto a conveniently placed thong. But there was still a good 200grams on the floor. I was running around frantically trying to think of what to do and having to hide it from my mother who was still wandering the house at the same time. I had many bottles of water in my room which was lucky. I used them with tissues to help clean the honey off my floor. All in all it took me over half an hour to clean up the entire mess. And when I went to dump the tissues that were soaked in honey in the toilet, I flushed them down, and the toilet began to flood.

And then I waited for it to sink but it wouldn't. So I ran back to my room and grabbed the honey-soaked thong. I walked in the direction of the bathroom so I could clean it under the sink until I remembered... the spider was in the bathroom. I had to clean that fucking thong while there was the huge spider in a basket right at my feet.

After that nothing happened. I put the honey back and my mother never found out. I went and sat down in my bedroom and I thought, 'I'm still hungry'.
So I went and got the peanut butter...

My Favourite Sayings

i was thinking today at school about all of my favourite sayings, because i am full of them.
so i wanted to kind of put it all down on paper (or so to speak).
i don't have any particular favourites, but i think they are all really important and share my personal beliefs.
i know it's lame but i put them in alphabetical order... :P

'a smile is a light in the window of your face to show that your heart is at home'

'a cheat believes that everyone cheats'

'a dream is a reality that is yet to materialize'

'a friend tells you what you want to hear, but a best friend will tell you the truth'

'a true friend will remember you for the good times and the bad times and love you for both'

'always aim for the moon; even if you miss, you'll still be among the stars'

'character is what you do when nobody else is looking'

'DARE TO BE DIFFERENT'

'don't explain. your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it'

'DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW UNTIL IT IS TODAY'

'every end has a new beginning'

'everyone deserves to be loved'

'fall seven times, get up eight'

'friendship is the foundation on which true love is built'

'GO WHERE LIFE TAKES YOU'


i cannot stress this enough, for this particular saying is the very core of who i am as a person...


'L I F E I S W H A T Y O U M A K E I T'

thank you for reading. xx.

Hi Sam :) 2

Lol, that sounds fun. 

I'll be there as soon as you've read this.

xx.

Hi Sam :)

XD You are on the other side of the room with Emily and Bonnie.

Hi.     :)

Still Trying...

My efforts have still been valiant. I am still on my way to top grades...

I am just so proud, lol. I actually finished a summative assignment today within two hours of receiving it; we were given a whole week.

I know it is lame, but hey, this year I really have to make up for ten years of fucking around. Love nanny, xx.

Detentions With Benefits

I have never ever worked this hard at school before. It's murder. I hate it. 

For once I'm actually attentive in all my lessons and I've been doing all of my work and my homework. This is probably what everybody else does, but hey, I'm really not used to it.

Last year, I believe that I received a total of something like 27 detentions. So as you can imagine, I am straining myself a little more than usual. Supervised Study, a subject that all Year 11s attend, is by far the most boring and unhelpful class of all time. As I like to call them: Detentions with Benefits.

But I have promised myself, friends and family that I would work harder in my senior years, as that was my plan all along. I know I can do it, and will, but the idea of keeping at this pace for two whole years is rather daunting.

Lunch bell just rang, must go... Love all you kiddies... xx.

Blank Moments

There are many things that you learn about yourself over the years. You experience things that let you discover certain qualities about yourself, you see things that urge you to delve deeper into the mystery of life and who you are and why you're here. 

You have nights when all you do is lie on your bed and think. The unravelling of who you are is a long and draining time. I have gone through it. It's amazing how much can be hiding in your own head that secretly you've known all along... it was just never brought to your attention. You lie there for so long, just thinking, that you develop slots of time where your mind is blank. You've forgotten where you were and what you were doing at that certain time. All you know is that you've been lying there in self-reflection... trying desperately to understand why things are that way.

I've had to work things over in my head so many times now that I consider myself a near professional. Having to work through your feelings is something that can take some people there whole life... imagine never truly knowing everything about yourself...

I, like you, am still discovering new things about myself (personality wise) all the time. It's just incredible how much is safe there in your sub-conscious. 

I've blabbed enough, time to go home... love all you kiddies. xx. 

The New Year

Well, I am quite happy to announce that I have stuck to my New Year Promise and I will continue to pursue that goal throughout the rest of this year.

I had an absolutely smashing NYE, which I spent with Frances. We went to one of her friends, Nicole's house where there was going to be a party. There was only around six people there but nevertheless it was a great night. We got severely indisposed (especially me) and i successfully managed to make a complete fool of myself.
I believe that by three in the morning it took me ten minutes to string one sentence together, Nicole told me.

So yes, it was quite interesting, and the folllowing morning was rather painful. I woke up and the first thought in my head was "how the hell did I end up with so many pillows?"

I went home early because I felt like crap and the need to sleep and rest my intensely sore body was almost overwhelming. But I had a fantastic night, and I am extremely happy that 2009 is here.

It's not like I wasn't enjoying 2008, but a New Year always makes me feel fresh, like it's a brand new start. It wipes the slate clean.
This year I'm a Year 11, which in my opinion is fantastic, because it's one year closer to the end of this horrid ordeal that they call education. And finally I get to wear the Senior uniforms, which I've spent a full three years longing for.

I think I've rambled enough now, and so, Happy New Year everyone and I'll see you all later.

Underworld

I am rather peeved. Annoyed. Frustrated. Angry. Just a few words to describe how I feel about the release of Tomb Raider: Underworld on the PS2.

Okay, many of you may say that I have a sad life to be utterly obsessed with TR, but hey, I love it. And the new game of the TR series: Underworld, was released on December the 5th this year. The reason I am peeved, annoyed, frustrated and angry is because for some fucking reason, the PS2 version has been delayed until June next year, and as I am yet to own a PS3 i cannot play or purchase it. This is a horrid thing because I am a die-hard fan and it greatly concerns me that the rest of the world shall play it and complete it before I do.

Oh, the shame. That is all.

Promises

I find it quite funny that even though people rave on and on about what their New Year Promise will be, people never ever follow them.

I remember, back when I was a little child, how every NYE I would think up a storm about what I wanted to promise myself I'd do right for the whole of the next year.
But, alas, I never follwed it and infact every year of my life I have forgotten this promise the very next day.

Last year my promise to myself was to quit smoking. Obviously, for those who know me well, that plan fell straight through. And the year before that I recall myself saying that I would lose weight. Well, that is another severely obvious failure.

But this year, even though I've not yet thought of a perfect promise, I know I will follow my promise through. I will. Because I really do hate how many times I've broken promises to myself. I do it every day. Al the time I say to myself that I won't do it and I end up going and doing it.

I am blabbering about this because this NY i really want to change my life around a bit. I've decided I want to live life to the maximum, and you only live once, so why waste it?

Some people may feel that this notion is just some teenage dream but I believe that in some ways, you're most clever when you're a teenager. Because you are at a stage where you're not quite naiive. You have fresh and new ideas about life that are untainted by the outside world.

You love life, and in your own little head you have everything worked out to something close to perfection. But then you becone an adult, you join the Work Force, and the adults of our greedy planet taint your ideas, they crush them down. They tell you that youre stupid and that your thoughts and feelings are bullshit and that you should just grow up and stop being so damn naiive in this life.

They are the people who are wrong, for if they were to look at their lives, you'd find that most of them work nearly everyday of their lives. They get up to go to their boring job that they hate, and we (the youth) tell them that this is all wrong! You shouldn't go through life wasting most of your days doing these kind of things!

But, the cruel fate of it is that each youth has had these same ideas, but each youth has grown up to become just as the last generation.
So this is my promise to myself:

For as long as I live, I will live to be my own person, to live the life I want to, and to be forever young in my mind, my ideas, and my identity.

This will be my NY Promise, because I want to rid my life of what is wrong, and truely live... Because after all, we're all blessed to be in this life, so why not make the most of it...

Pressure

I don't like unwanted pressure; in fact, I hate it. It drives me mad.
You know that feeling where everything is building up, all at once, and you feel that if you have one more thing to think about then your head might just explode.

Oh, the agony. Ah, the frustration. It's terrible. Nothing could piss me off more than having a million people asking me to do something or a thousand teachers all wanting assignments on the same fucking due date. What is that?! Is it some horrid cruel twist of fate? Is this God's joke? To put innocent (or close to) people into agonizing situations where they feel like pulling every hair off their head and ripping out their spleen?!

I think that this is one of life's major irritations. Ah, what a hassle. Pressure sucks.

The Uncanny Crew

I don't know why, but I feel like talking about some of my dearest friends.

What can I say really? These people are amazing. They light up my life. They are my world. Thinking about going on without these souls in my life makes me sick to the stomach. I love them all.

I couldn't describe them all as a unit, because all though we are as one, we're all very different in our little ways.
I have actually described these people to you before in a previous blog, 'Music People' but I feel the need to talk about these particular persons again.

Kyrie: I care for this girl so much. She's taken me in and opened up her entire life to me. She's really made me feel so comfortable and welcome. I love her for that. I think that she is amazing and she's so talented in so many ways. I haven't known her very long compared to my other best friends, but for Kyrie time seems to be no matter. She has two sides to a perfect personality, she's an insane lunatic but when conversation gets serious she quietens instantly and patiently listens. Kyrie is perfect in many ways, and I love her dearly.

Sam: OMG, how I love this kid. He has so many sides to him. He is very clever, and teribbly funny. If there is one flaw about Sam it's that he is torturously apologetic and it drives me bonkers, but that is just who he is. He's lovely, caring, and a great talker and listener. He has his crazy moods, and then the moods that make you want to hug him and tell him it's ok. Hehe. Sam, you're a gem, and I'll love you til the end.

Harry: What can you say about Harry? There really is too much. Well, one thing is that he is usually incredibly predictable and you know exactly what and when he is going to say something. He is sarcastic, cynical and fucking hilarious. Kyrie is very protective of her boy, and the two of them are the cutest couple the world has ever seen. They are great for each other. I've known Harry the longest, and the only thing that has changed about him in the last three years are: height, hair colour, and his opinion of me...

Megan: Now, Megan is the person I've known the shortest, in fact, less than three months! But the weirdest thing is that I feel as though she's this life-long friend I couldn't imagine some things without. She is mind-blowingly hilarious and she makes me laugh like mad and I make her snort like crazy. It's the perfect win-win relationship. I love you, Megan, and don't you ever forget it.

Much to my irritation, I am not an original Uncanny Crew member. The group was in fact joined before I started hanging with them. But they have been incredibly accepting of me, and they've all let me in and treated me as if I were one of there own. And I really do feel like I fit in with them, better in fact, than anywhere else I ever have before.

I am still in constant awe of how happy I am with them. When I say this, I mean this: They have made me happier as a person than I have ever been. Don't get me wrong, I love Emily and Frances with all my soul, but for some reason I am caught up with my love affair with the Uncanny Crew.

Thankyou to each and every one of you, you made me happy. You made me smile. Being at the beach the other night made me get all sentimental, it made me realize how much I love you all, and how much I never want our friendships to end.

Burdens

Have you ever experienced every feeling you know all at the same time?
Have you ever felt love, hope, happiness, relief, disappointment, anger, sadness, sorrow, all at once? How to explain it?

I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and for just one second, I feel free. But then, just as a lifetime of stress is released, a new burden, a new weight, a heavier one, is placed on your calloused shoulders. Have you ever known this emotion? I have. But I don't know what it is...

Chris Crocker

Fuck me dead, this guy is fucking hilarious. I love him!
But I don't know what you guys thin about him, because half the people who've seen him really don't like him but I think he's funny as all fuck...

If you don't know who I'm talking about, here's a hint: leave britney alone...
Yeah, that guy! Well, he has heaps of other videos which are just as funny and I really suggest you check out his vids.
Just search 'Chris Crocker' on youtube and it will come up with a list of his complete videos. They're really good.

You may do as I suggest, and go and check him out, and then wonder how the hell I could like such a freak? Well, the answer is that I like him because he's loud and proud and funny as fuck.

So, go off and watch some videos with an open mind. Caution: Do not search Chris Crocker while in a cynical or pessimistic mood, this means no Chris Crocker for you Harry. Haha...

Funhouse

So, here I am, sitting with one of my favourite people: Jess Champion, listening to Pink's new album Funhouse in the music room. It's great, and we're having the time of our lives.

Actually, we're just sitting here talking and listening, but we're still having fun.

Yes, it's Week 8, and I went to school... much to my regret.

It's boring as all fuck.

The lessons are shit, and nobody is here. I want to die. I fucking want to kill everyone. Just so they're as bored as me.

So Jess just left, and Megan is going to the city, so what to do now? I have another one of those fucking frees that have their upsides, but their major downsides as well. It sucks. I suppose I'll have to pull through, and wait til tomorrow night when I see Frances. Fuck me, I miss that bitch. 

That is all.

Adriana Demourtzidis

Ah, what can I say about my Adri Pie...

First of all, she forced me to write a blog about her or she threatened to slit my throat and make it look like a suicide. (She's very violent).

She's short, but I swear to God she's the strongest piece of shit that I've ever met. Once in P.E. she kicked a soccer ball quite petitely and it flew over the length of the entire large gym.

She is Greek, and loves the boys. Her favourite person in the world is Russel from music. They like to get it on in Music Room 6.

Nah, I'm just kidding. She is a cute, cuddly little person who is sweet - when you're on her good side... haha...

Trust me - I've been on her bad side before and it's far from fun. It's scary.

I love Adri, and I'm gonna miss our music lessons... :(

The Girls are splitting up. We've had fun times, watching Sean's solos, and freaking out before ours.

Adri, I love you and your bum.

Should I Go?

Well folks, I'm facing yet another difficult circumstance.

I don't know whether i should go to school in Week 8.

I don't want to go because Harry and other Year 11 people aren't going to be here.

Also Ms. Chetty is on my back about a Romeo + Juliet assignment which i haven't done and won't do.

There's also the option of not going at all, but I'm not sure how much the parents will agree. If I don't go, I'm letting down a couple of people who I know are relying on my attendance that week.

So confused. What do I do?